Why I didn't go see Dylan at the Beacon

It was a rainy night.
We took a taxi to your mother's home
She went to Florida and left you
With your father's gun alone
Upon her small white bed
I fell into a dream
You sat up all the night and watched me
To see, who in the world I might be
-- Joni Mitchell, "Rainy Night House," from Ladies of the Canyon (April 1970)

Up until 3 a.m the night before, being all buttery in Joyzee, my morning plans to trek up to the Amherst-Williams Women's Rugby Footbal Club showdown fizzled. I wrote much of the day, and then fell asleep before Jeff got home from a hard day's work at the airport. He never even checked the bedroom to see if I was home, and set about relaxing with a Hoegaarden's & limon, found himself watching The Last Waltz and realized, hey, why am I watching Bob Dylan on tv when he's live, in town, up at the Beacon Theater?

The Beacon, as diehard NYC music fans know, is one of the last places in town where you can almost always find a way in the door. They often sell standing room only tickets at the door, and since it was a rainy night, my man figured the ticket would be an easy one.

It was at this point, as the music from the room next door began to louden in anticipation of his evening plans, that I roused myself from a nap, stumbling into the hall rubbing the snoozies out of my eyes. Although he was happy to see me, the surprised but gruff tone "What the fuck are you doing home?" made us both laugh.

So, now he had a date. Or so he thought. He pled, he wheedled, he tried out the "you're a sixties historian and he's the Bard of the Era" line on me. But there was no budging. I'd been in Minneapolis too long, and heard too many bad reports of mumbled shows and mediocre music to deal with the scene at the Beacon. I preferred my joyous memories of the Government Mule show there on 12/30/04 to the anticipation of a somewhat stressful jockeying for position night. Solo, Jeff, or I for that matter, can ease our way around and through the crowds at a music show, making friends, finding soulmates, dancing with the spirit. As a pair, however, we are a little slower, a little harder to fit into the crevices between people, and more than preoccupied with how happy the other person is at any given moment. Codependent indeed.

Moreover, all my usual joy-joining suspects were either at Jazzfest, down in Philly at a strangely venued Ratdog at the Electric Factory gig, or on their way to Bryn Mawr for a Hot Buttered Rum meltdown. And the thought of jostling my way into the Dylan crowd was just too much after the beautiful energy of the night before at Mexicali Blues.

So we had a very mature, married-couple conversation, off he went to the Forest Hills train station, and home I stayed to read and write and write and read and organize and journal and enjoy my Joni Mitchell fix.

I will always love Lisa Law's photographs of a young Bob when they were all living down in L.A. But I save my sponteneity for musical energy that vitalizes me, not enervates.

And besides, I still haven't figured out who I might be. It was a good night for that journey.